While death is one of life’s certainties, talking about it, especially with loved ones, can feel incredibly uncomfortable. Understandably, initiating a conversation about end-of-life wishes with your adult children can be challenging and easy to put off to another day.
However, it is crucial to acknowledge that candid communication about your preferences for your golden years can be a powerful gift to your family. Talking about this proactively can eliminate uncertainty and help your loved ones feel more prepared for what is sure to be an emotional and difficult time in the future.
Are you emotionally and logistically prepared?
Since this is arguably one of the most important conversations you will have with your children, it is crucial that you assess your preparedness before initiating it. Are you comfortable enough with this difficult topic to facilitate a conversation about it with your adult children?
By reflecting on your own feelings and fears about the end of life, you can accommodate and understand the apprehensions your children may share. Additionally, you should be logistically prepared for this important conversation with all the relevant documents that will provide a concrete basis for your discussion. In some situations, you may want your estate planning attorney present to answer some questions that may arise and to provide clarity on certain topics.
Planning for the discussion
Having this conversation on a whim is typically not advisable. In most circumstances, your children will want to be aware that this discussion will take place, rather than having a potentially difficult conversation sprung on them.
Choose a date and time that is appropriate for such an important conversation. Typically, this will mean scheduling this outside of normal planned family events like holidays, where there may be ample distractions. You will also want to make sure that you set aside enough time to discuss your plans and give your children time to ask questions and raise any concerns they may have.
Lastly, think about where you want to have this discussion. Choose a venue where everyone feels comfortable and the conversation can be as private as you want it to be, without visitors popping in or children running around.
A difficult yet important conversation
Discussing end-of-life affairs with your adult children is a vital step in helping to ensure that your wishes are respected and that your family is prepared for the future. By preparing yourself emotionally, choosing the right time and setting and involving a trusted legal representative, you can create an environment conducive to this important dialogue.